How many potty puns can you catch?
– It is my duty, to acknowledge,
that reading, in the bathroom,
on the toilet, is a thing.
We spend a lot of time in here.
Women spend about 85 minutes
a week, in the restroom.
Men spend, a whopping,
105 minutes per week.
If you train your kids to read,
non-fiction, in the bathroom,
they'll be ready for Jeopardy, or college.
What books should we keep in the bathroom?
Let's get to the bottom of this.
What is Poop?
It's brown, smelly, squishy,
it's stuff your body doesn't want.
How much poop does an elephant do?
This much, every day.
Blue whales poop, it's pink.
Follow their poop, all
the way down the sewer,
until it turns into sludge.
Not my favorite, but it
is a solid number two.
Do you get it?
Obviously, you have to
follow up, What is Poop?,
with, What are Germs?
So, they can know that
germs are everywhere.
On their hands, on the toilet.
So, they need to wash their hands
and keep the toilet clean, too.
The Everyday Journey of Ordinary Things.
How are my jeans made?
It takes around 15 separate pieces,
to make up a pair of standard jeans.
What happens when I flush?
The journey of poop.
Look around and try to notice the things
you might take for granted.
Think of all the machines,
people, plants and processes,
that it takes, just to
make a chocolate bar.
What better time to learn about business,
than when you're taking care of business.
A business can't simply
keep all the money it makes,
it has to give some of it
back, to society, paying taxes.
It even shows you how to come
up with what you should sell.
Whether they're going to
own a business, or not,
they're going to need to know
how to manage their money.
How to set aside money to save.
Saving money makes you feel good.
Once you start putting some money aside,
you'll find you can start planning
to buy things you really want.
You can save up money for gifts,
even if you have very
little money to spare.
It's still possible to start saving.
If you're trying to
potty train your child,
in time to send them to school,
you might as well do two birds one stone
and go ahead and make sure they know
all the words that they need to know, too.
So, while they're sitting there, waiting,
just open up this board book
and start talking about
the things on the pages.
Cars, or as my son calls it, super cars.
Kids can see the latest and
greatest, from manufacturers.
Noting their top speeds,
power, capacity and mileage.
I would love to tell you all
about what this book says,
but it's like reading a
foreign language, for me.
Real-life Mysteries.
Doo doo doo do, doo doo doo do.
Funny story about this book.
One morning, my son got into
my books, before I woke up.
I'm a night owl.
And I finally wake up and
he brings me this book
and he says, "Mom. I have to show you.".
I hadn't had my coffee
yet, but I was pretty sure
we were looking at
something really creepy.
He refuses to see Toy Story 4,
because it's too scary
that Forky gets lost,
but, yeah (laughs), okay,
he seems to be fine.
Spontaneous human combustion.
But seriously, he's fine and
he loves the Bigfoot page.
It's like The Enquirer, for kids.
Perfect bathroom material.
Fast Facts Sports.
Thousands of facts and
figures, at your fingertips.
Basketball, baseball,
gymnastics, hockey, golf,
tennis, football and The Superbowl.
Bowl, do you get it?
Lift-the-Flap Engineering.
How was The Bean, in Chicago, constructed?
Did you know that ultrasound,
was first used by the Navy,
to detect enemy ships?
Thanks to them, we have
ultrasound machines,
to see our babies.
Robots.
Virtual reality.
Engineering is not just about engines.
It means designing, testing
and making all kinds of useful things.
To do this, engineers use math, science
and above all, their imaginations.
Questions and Answers, About Weather.
When will the storm go away?
It's hard to know.
But you can tell if a
storm is moving away,
by the gap, between the
lightning and the thunder.
Do clouds feel like cotton candy?
No, clouds might feel cold and damp,
but there's nothing solid to touch.
My Very First Body Book.
Any food you eat, goes on a
journey, through your body.
Stomach juices, mix with the food.
In your small intestine,
tiny bits of food,
pass into your blood and give
your body energy, to work.
Reading in the bathroom.
All the different parts of the brain
and what they're used for
and then some of the
things that you can do,
because of your brain.
100 Things to Know About the Human Body.
It's laid out in an infographics style.
Did you know, the language you speak,
affects the way you sneeze?
Ah choo.
Ha-ching.
Apchkee.
Hakushon.
Ecci.
Your body will sacrifice,
fingers and toes,
to survive in very cold weather.
So, you best not forget your coat,
on that cold day, son.
The Usborne Art Treasury.
You can read about a
painting and the artist
and then, see how to
recreate your own version.
Reading this book in the bathroom,
will make you feel European.
Don't let your kids
waste this precious time,
in the bathroom.
Train them to use, their 13
months on the pot, wisely.
What would the people, kids
and adults, in your family,
want to learn, with their
time in the bathroom?
Now, give them the stools, I mean tools.

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