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Hello, welcome.
Welcome. This is the global community for adult survivors of complex trauma adults who
identify with the term adverse childhood experiences or child abuse, childhood neglect,
family of origin
dysfunction, disrupted childhood,
perhaps you grew up in a home where there was addiction or incarceration or
again, just
neglect, abuse, your basic needs were not met, and here you are.
You're an adult and these things are still plaguing you
or causing you some discomfort in your adult years.
And sometimes you go to receive help and support
in these areas and occasionally we will be met with
very dehumanizing and invalidating
sentiments such as well. Gosh, that was a long time ago. Why aren't you over that by now?
Or you know, gosh, you know you need to just move on.
What's wrong with you? How come you haven't just you got to just forgive and forget?
You know, are you sure it was really that bad. I mean, maybe they were just doing the best they could
You know, gosh.
Maybe the problem is you.
You know, if these things are things that you identify with,
we have all been coming here and showing up on Monday nights
6 p.m. Pacific, 9 p.m. Eastern, and
we've been doing that for almost 6 years now.
Coming up on six years.
And
this is truly one of the
highlights of my week.
I'm gonna try to post in the
chat box a little bit about what it is that we're going to be talking about tonight
and we have an email from one of our community members, Gaston.
And we're gonna be addressing
the first part of his email and so here let me just post. I'm going to post in the chat box here if I can.
This was in our Facebook groups and so it's written in the third person.
I don't typically talk about myself in the third person.
Athena says this, Athena says that.
That would be disturbing. So I don't typically do that. just so, you know.
Um, I'm gonna try here just so you know what I'm what I'm talking about. Okay, let's see.
There's part of it.
There we go.
So if you are watching this on a replay you can hit Live Chat,
and you should be able to read some of the things that are going on in the chat box.
That will help you to follow along and receive the support that you deserve.
Hopefully, these are not too long…
Oops, no, it's too long.
Let's see here. I'll read it to you all, so that might be very helpful.
There we go.
I'm hoping that those who come here and arrive later still have access
to the chat box going all the way back to the beginning.
So basically what
I posted in the chat box is we got an email
sent in by one of our community members, which I will put up in just a moment.
But basically we're gonna talk tonight about the direct connection of
complex trauma and how sometimes an
overactive inner critic,
which goes hand-in-hand with an emotional flashback
can commonly be misdiagnosed as obsessive compulsive disorder
or obsessive compulsive personality disorder.
And what I believe to be a misdiagnosis
as a result of a lack of
trauma informedness, lack of psychoeducational material,
lack of training, lack of continuing education units,
lack of education overall within the medical model and in higher education.
And I realized that the study of complex trauma is a newer study.
We've only been studying and researching complex trauma, particularly
childhood maltreatment, in-depth since the late 90s.
However, I mean it's not gonna be too long before, you know, I mean, it's been almost 30 years guys
like mid to late 90s, over 20 years.
We're not gonna be able to claim,
"Hey, this is a newer study. this is something that is newer."
"and so we don't have enough peer-reviewed research."
Well, actually there have been dozens if not hundreds of
peer-reviewed articles
on the topic of childhood maltreatment,
adverse childhood experiences and
there are whispers of the ICD
11
ICD-11
having a standalone diagnosis, a standalone code for complex PTSD.
And the hope is that
there will be a DSM-5 or a
revised version of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual
or
the complex PTSD
complex post-traumatic stress disorder,
Complex trauma, CPTSD that there will be a standalone diagnosis, a code in the sixth edition.
Absolutely, but prior to that perhaps DSM-5 are.
So all that being said, we're going to talk today about
how sensory motor obsessions,
hyperawareness of bodily functions, severely debilitating hypochondriasis,
hyper-vigilance, can be.
We're gonna look at it through the lens of complex trauma,
keeping in mind that emotional flashbacks are very similar to classic PTSD flashbacks.
They are an in-body experience and they're very real and they can last
moments,
hours, days, weeks, months, and they can
coincide with any number of
physical symptoms, not only psychosomatic symptoms of physical symptoms and it's important for us to
keep in mind that these are real, they are valid and they're
likely not all the time
but
some of the time they're a result of
complex trauma
ongoing
interpersonal relational hurts, where someone is traumatized or abused by another individual
more than once, repeatedly over a long period of time.
There is an uneven power dynamic in play.
In other words, you're down here, they're up there and there is either a perceived or real
understanding
that there is an inability to get away
so keeping all these things in mind what we are going to talk about tonight is
the question sent in by Gaston who's also a psychotherapist and
we're going to look at this again
things that could come under the umbrella
of obsessive compulsive disorder or
obsessive compulsive personality disorder and
we're going to also apply an Attachment Theory lens which is part of having a trauma-informed
perspective when there is attachment trauma in play,
these things can present themselves as
not necessarily,
they're not mutually exclusive
Things that are like OCD and these types of standalone diagnoses,
they're not mutually exclusive of any type of complex trauma, relational trauma.
These are these are the things we're going to candidly discuss tonight. I want to create an environment of safety.
I don't want to have this discussion in a pathologizing way that causes you to feel bad.
The question sent in are very personal and
every person on planet earth
at one point or another
struggles with the way they think about themselves,
the way they view themselves, the way they feel in their body
and when these things become
overly consuming all-consuming to the point where we are unable to
breathe or function or to where we are interrupting our body's natural state of being,
it's time for us to pause and look at
what the connection may be to complex trauma and how can we view those things in a compassionate lens?
Okay, I'm going to share with you tonight. How common it is for adult survivors of childhood abuse
to struggle with an overactive inner critic,
especially relating to common bodily functions
I'm talking about your digestive tract,
maybe how it is that you blink, how you smile, the way your teeth look, the color of your skin.
Whether or not that you have a certain texture to your skin or different
blemishes
perhaps you have
an odd number of
like something that is uncommon, like an uncommon number of fingers or toes.
Perhaps your fingernails or toenails are shaped a certain way that you have somehow decided is not the same as other people.
If you have a certain level of hyperawareness about your body.
We can talk about body dysmorphic disorder or BDD as it relates to how we view our bodies.
If you have debilitating hypochondriasis to the moment you start to enter into a situation where you're feeling
uncertain about an outcome,
then all of a sudden your brain as a coping strategy
distracts you by focusing on 12 different things that could possibly be going wrong with your body right now.
You know,
there are all these different lists of options of things that could possibly be going on
with your body or with your mind or I mean, these things can be internal, they can be external.
It can be quite debilitating.
Many complex trauma survivors experience
severely
debilitating hypochondriasis and hyperawareness and
these
cognitive distortions as it relates to our sensory motor,
what the OCD community as Gaston mentions in his email calls Sensory Motor Obsessions
Like we mentioned earlier, while these experiences are often labeled or explained away
very easily in a pathologizing way as a classic symptom of OCD.
I think that our candid discussion tonight is going to reveal a
lot about how complex trauma survivors
almost always experience an
overactive inner critic and
how that overactive inner critic can be at the root of
this
all-consuming hypervigilance that we have, not only about our bodily functions,
but about how we appear to others, how we are breathing, how we are walking, how we are dressed,
how we are eating, the noises our mouth makes when we eat,
the noises our mouth makes when we swallow water.
The noises our stomach makes when we are
experiencing our own bodily digestion and these things can cause such a horrific amount of stress
that they they can cause gastrointestinal issues.
I have clients that live with almost consistent daily IBS (irritable bowel syndrome).
Symptoms of irritable bowel syndrome as a result of social anxiety and
just what they have come to figure out is directly related to their trauma and has manifested itself in
generalized anxiety disorder or social anxiety or even a agoraphobia.
This topic is we could probably spend months on this topic alone.
But my goal in this conversation tonight is to talk about how common it is
for survivors to struggle with not only all of the aforementioned symptoms that I talked about
but with feelings of shame
and self-loathing as a result of their basic bodily functions.
Our bodies function
miraculously
seemingly without even you know, so much just goes on without us even knowing it.
And interestingly, if we are ashamed during our toilet training when our primary caregivers
when we were participating or being being trained to use a toilet,
if our toilet training was rushed or if there was shame involved like bad, you're bad.
How dare you? I can't believe that you didn't make it to the toilet in time.
And no, no, no, and some survivors
talk about how they were spanked or they had food withheld from them, if they were not toilet trained quick enough.
They remember starving as young children as a result of not being toilet trained
within the first year of life.
And oftentimes, these stories are told throughout our family
joking around about how quickly we were toilet trained.
Or how your cousin was toilet trained earlier than you and that you were a late bloomer,
because you weren't toilet trained until you were 2 or 3.
Well I have news for you.
Any child that is allowed to be a child,
there are different times.
It takes a different amount of time for every single human being. It takes however long it takes to be toilet trained.
But if you are forced,
to be toilet-trained within a certain number of days or weeks or months that
causes a tremendous amount of anxiety
on an ongoing basis and this can disrupt your
gastrointestinal system for years, even decades.
So these things can plague us for decades until our root trauma or anchor trauma is addressed.
Meaning the abuse or the neglect that
in question, unless we address these things,
until we address these things within the context of safety in a compassionate and non-judgmental way,
under the supervision of a trauma-informed practitioner,
then these things can plague us and take over our daily thoughts.
So I really want to just stress how delicate this topic is
and how complex this topic is and how many intricate details and rabbit trails
and aspects and facets that this topic can take on.
It is a huge topic for me to try to tackle in one video,
but it is one that I have had questions sent in on these types of topics so many times,
that I literally cannot not make a video about this.
We did make a video about five years ago on the topic of daily hygiene,
and that was a hot topic that produced
hundreds of emails and voice messages from our community.
So I really want you to know that my heart is to address this topic
with an extra measure of compassion,
and an extra measure of empathy because I too have struggled with shame and self-loathing
because of my bodily functions.
I was teased and bullied
by my mother's third husband's children.
They would make fun of me whenever I would use the toilet,
and they would talk about my feces.
They would talk about
how when I went to the bathroom, it was different than everybody else.
And so because of that horrific,
savage,
terrorizing bullying,
day-in and day-out horror that I experienced, I had gastrointestinal issues and
subsequent disordered eating behaviors and an eating disorder, a diagnosed eating disorder.
I almost died and it started at age seven
with the savage horrific bullying,
the day-in and day-out bullying and terrorizing of my toilet activity.
So I really, really, really, really,
really want to remind you that if any of this is ringing any bells for you,
please just know you're not alone.
My private practice has turned into one that is primarily trauma therapists,
like trauma-informed therapists,
come and hire me to sort of
not only hear how it is that they are handling their own
private and group practices, but how they're handling their own vicarious trauma
that they're experiencing as a result of all of the trauma
that's going on with every one of their patients.
And one of the most common things that comes up one of the most common topics that comes up is
this hyperawareness of their bodily functions.
To the point where it is a neuroses
all of its own and has taken on a life of its own and has a voice of its own.
I have one client that weighs herself multiple times a day and
doesn't like to drink water because it's going to change her weight on the scale.
I have another client that struggles with falling asleep,
because she's terrified that she's not going to wake up.
I have another client that is so focused on the sounds her mouth makes when she talks,
that she's unable to do her job as a therapist.
On some days
she will have to cancel her clients that are ones that don't talk very much.
She's had to refer out her patients that don't talk very much.
She's had to refer those patients out
because my client is struggling to speak
because she's hyperaware of the sounds that
her mouth makes when she speaks.
I have another client that has an autoimmune disease
directly related to horrific childhood abuse and neglect.
And it has caused her to experience
such abdominal pain that her stomach is distended.
It looks as though she is pregnant at all times.
She's an older lady and it looks like she's several months pregnant,
ready to give birth because of it's directly related to her childhood trauma.
So I really really want
to open this discussion up and I want to share with you
the email that Gaston sent in.
Where he vulnerably shares his experience.
And we're gonna talk next week, by the way about childhood sexual abuse
and fuzzy memories or fragmented memories.
It's part two of Gaston's email
But this week we're going to talk about the first part of Gaston's email,
which is one that I've brought up on the screen now.
I hope you all can see it.
Let's see if it will work. I hope it will work.
He says, Hi, Athena, how are you?
I have been a part of this beautiful community for over two weeks now,
and I'm trying to catch up mostly with your videos
from the YouTube channel, CPTSD chat.
I have to say they are great,
very resourceful and helpful so far. (I'm so glad Gaston)
Gaston says, however, there are two topics on which I would like to gather information
And I don't know if they have been addressed yet. The first one is regarding hypervigilance.
I would like to know if the issue of self-focused
(he says self-centered, I would say it's like self-focused hypervigilance)
has ever been discussed?
It usually happens to me that my attention becomes
fixated on
automatic body processes such as breathing,
blinking, swallowing, hand movement,
sleeping and even the digestive process.
I feel that because I am thinking about these things,
they stop being automatic processes.
And they begin to be interfered by my inevitable tendency of wanting to do them correctly,
especially in social situations.
The mere fact of having my mind
stuck in one of these situations
becomes unbearable to the point of having diarrhea
due to the fear that I experience when I corroborate that my focused attention on my digestion is
effectively interfering with the process.
The same happened with sleeping. I spent several nights not being able to fall asleep
because my thinking interferes with the natural process,
and puts me in a hypervigilant state.
Making the feared consequence finally happen.
I know it is a difficult situation to understand for those…
Let me see, if I can move this really quickly.
One moment
He says I know it is a difficult situation to understand,
for those who have not suffered it.
So I hope I have made myself clear.
As clear as possible.
It has been labeled as hyperawareness or
sensory motor obsessions in some OCD forums.
So, thank you so much Gaston,
for sending in your question.
And we will go to the second part of your question next week for sure.
But I really just need you guys to know that
I can't even count how many of these emails I have received
that are very similar to this email that Gaston has sent in.
It is so common. It is so common for these things to be
going on when you have experienced
complex trauma, so there's a sensitivity to a lot.
So this is what I want to do Gaston. What I would like to do is,
I would like to focus on…
I want to give you a solution towards the end of this video
on the part of falling asleep.
I don't know what your belief system is around medication,
I have an over-the-counter
medication
that simply helps me to fall asleep.
It's non-addictive, non-prescription, over-the-counter,
non-habit-forming and you can find it anywhere.
You can find it in Walmart. You can find it in a drugstore.
You can find it in a grocery store. You can find it at Costco
You can find it on Amazon and I will show it to you in just a moment.
In fact, let me bring it up really quick so you can see it.
For anyone that is struggling with what Gaston is mentioning here
I want to bring up the picture of
what this sleep aid looks like so that you can order it.
This is what it looks like.
Let me pull this up.
Here we go.

Okay, so I hope you can see this
This is an over-the-counter.
It says here that it's $22
But it is not. It's actually only about $6.
You would likely pay
about $12 for a two pack.
If you would like three or four of them, I think it's $20, but again, it is non-prescription,
non-habit-forming, non-addictive.
I don't take any medicine. I don't take aspirin. I don't take tylenol.
I don't take Advil. I don't take anything. I don't take any medications at all ever.
Like maybe once a year if I get sick and I have to go the doctor
but that has been several years since that's happened
where I've actually taken medication.
The only other medication I've taken in several years is
like
Zicam, like a flu medicine when I got super sick.
But this is the only thing other than a B vitamin.
I take a B vitamin in the morning and at night time I'll take one of these.
And all it does is it eases my mind
from the racing thoughts and hyperawareness that I have
around my fear of falling asleep.
These things didn't didn't begin happening for me until my dad was in the hospital
and I was the person that was there with him when he passed away.
And I was unable to go to sleep because I thought that I would miss the call.
I would spend all day, like 12 hours a day in the hospital,
when he was on life support.

And I only left to go sleep.
And I was afraid to fall asleep because I was afraid
that I would sleep through my phone even though I had the ringer on
And so I couldn't fall asleep for a really long time.
And so after my dad passed away my body had gotten used to not sleeping
and not falling asleep and having this continual fear of falling asleep.
And this level of hypervigilance that was debilitating and unsustainable
and so this is the only thing that actually helped me.
And again, it's non-habit-forming,
non-addictive, non-prescription, you can get it anywhere.
You can get it on eBay. You can find it at Walmart.
The active ingredient is called doxylamine succinate, 25 milligrams.
Doxylamine succinate and what it does is it just sort of
causes your fears and anxious thoughts to become just a little bit fuzzy and tired
and then you end up falling asleep.
It doesn't help you stay asleep. It just helps you fall asleep.
So, I don't know if this is helpful, but I'm hoping that it is.
And what I would like to do now is
I would like to address the rest of your email, Gaston,
through the lens of the Inner Critic
Okay, now the outer critic,
Pete Walker goes into some detail about OCD and trauma responses.
Like how one of the trauma responses is you're more likely to present with OCD symptoms,
like fight, flight, freeze or fawn.
Um, but I'm going to talk to you today about the Inner Critic
and I want to talk to you about just certain ways that
working with the inner critic and taking an approach.
What I'm gonna do is I'm going to paste this link in the chat box here,
So that you all,
let me…
There is a link in the chat box to Pete Walker's website,
in case you all wanted to click on it.
Now, Gaston I firmly firmly firmly believe
that if you were to work through
the four Fs, the fight, flight, freeze, and fawn
Here the trauma typology, the four Fs
So here Pete Walker talks about variances in childhood abuse
and neglect patterns and birth order okay and genetic predispositions and the way that
it results in us choosing and specializing in
a fight, flight, freez or fawn.
Like what is it that actually happens to us organically as a result of our genetic
predisposition or what happens within our trauma.
I believe that, (this is my hypothesis)
Okay, we're going to go back to inner critic here in a moment,
but Gaston what I do believe,
my hypothesis, is that the very thing that is
causing you to feel these debilitating levels of
hyper-vigilance and hyper-awareness,
I believe that
that is one of the very things that is going to help you
to
create homeostasis and experience homeostasis in your body.
It will simply need to have the volume turned down a little bit
and the only way we can turn the volume down on
some of the hyper vigilance and hyper awareness that you have going on,
is through, it's going to be a multi-pronged approach Gaston
Psycho-educational material is going to be key. So again the four Fs, the trauma typology.
Looking at your symptom that you mentioned through the lens of an emotional flashback model,
like what is an emotional flashback and
read through What is an Emotional Flashback? Is that what I'm experiencing right now?
Am I experiencing what Pete Walker calls an Emotional Flashback?
Am I?
And the only way you're going to know that Gaston, is if you ask yourself, were you traumatized during childhood?
Did you experience contempt
from your family of origin?
Did they treat you as though you were a bother or a nuisance?
Were you were you treated as though you didn't belong and that it would be better if you were not born?
Were you made to believe that you were worthless?
stupid?
Contemptible, fatally flawed?
If these are things that you can identify with if you can agree, if you can identify with severe
damage to your nervous system
when you were younger and
followed by waves of toxic shame or despair and
you know feelings of overwhelm and panic.
If
you are are typically
feeling so hyperaware of your body and your thought processes that you're paralyzed and
occasionally you feel powerless and helpless and
sometimes these things can be situational,
if these are things that you do identify with, then I would challenge you to look at your symptomology
through the lens of an emotional flashback
and that you would go through not only the four Fs as a traumatology, but look at shrinking the inner critic
look at emotional flashback management,
look at classic PTSD flashback management,
and look at the different ways
that Pete Walker frames
what happens in our bodies when we are
not loved well as children.
If anything that you're experiencing in your body,
is overwhelming you present day and you identify with
experiencing severe childhood trauma and neglect and abuse
and family of origin dysfunction, then I know you can you can work through this.
I know you will find answers.
I'm not certain Gaston if you've ever read The Tao of Fully Feeling
or if you have read Pete Walker's book,
complex PTSD from surviving to thriving.
This right here, this book,
this one book right here explains so much
this one single book explains so much about
what is going on in our body.
And it's a self-help approach
Right? It's a self-help approach, but very helpful and comprehensive, The Tao of Fully Feeling.
Actually it has helped me more with the
the hyperawareness that I have had with my bodily sensations.
My gastrointestinal issues, my disordered eating, my thought patterns,
my self-loathing, my self-hatred,
self-contempt.
These ways that I relate to myself.
The Tao of Fully Feeling really helped me with that. I now have the audio book version as well, which I highly recommend.
It is so soothing and destigmatizing to listen to the words and
sort of allow them to sort of wash over you and normalize your experience.
Because what I was realizing Gastón is that
I was not experiencing OCD in the way that my therapist was…
the question from my therapist was about my different symptoms and
if I identified with
the symptomology of OCD
but then we got on the topic of complex trauma and abuse,
and given my trauma narrative and my abuse history,
my family of origin,
it was immediately obvious to my therapist that
it would be very helpful for me to view my symptoms that were presenting in my body
from an emotional flashback perspective through the lens of
trauma informedness and complex trauma and is
it possible that I could be in an emotional flashback. If so, what has brought this on?
And Gaston, I don't know exactly how long these symptoms have lasted for you,
for me, I mean they were lasting, you know, sometimes hours,
days, weeks, months, few years.
I mean I didn't realize I
was in an emotional
Flashback for years until I realized I was in an emotional flashback for years
like you don't know, you don't know, what you don't know.
And now I'm able to have such an atonement to my own body
that I'm able to put language to what it is that's actually going on with me and
it has been hugely destigmatizing not only for me, but for my clients as well.
And talk about kind of like the trickle-down approach or the trickle-down effect or the butterfly effect.
When my clients come to me and talk to me about
what it is that they are
experiencing in their body.
And these bodily sensations and you know natural human body functions
that are causing them a tremendous amount of shame.
As soon as they bring these thoughts,
these things to me, and I'm able to ask them questions
within the framework of
emotional flashback language and where this comes from.
Do you know what happens? I mean the shame just melts away.
Years and years and years and years of hyper-vigilance melts away.
And you want to know what happens?
They begin showing up differently for their patients
and their patients who are struggling with these things,
all of a sudden have new language to put with their symptomology.
And it is so destigmatizing and so normalizing.
And so
there's just such a compassionate
language that we're able to sort of
give and lend to the topics
that are brought to the sessions.
I mean, this is me struggling with something and all of a sudden my clients are struggling with something
and then their patients are struggling with something.
And then some of my clients who are therapists have patients who are therapists and those therapists have patients.
I mean you can just keep going and going and going and going and going is what I'm trying to say.
It's the pebble in the water, like it just ripples out.
And so Gastón, knowing that you are a therapist and that
you are becoming more and more trauma-informed by the day.
I am sure, having this type of framework and this trauma-informed lens and this language,
this compassionate language,
to put to the 4 Fs as a trauma typology,
to talk about shrinking the inner critic.
And the inner critic is that voice that we have
that tells us that there's something wrong with the sounds that are going on in our mouth
or the sound that our stomach is making.
Or the belief that we're not going to fall asleep, and then so therefore,
it's a feedback loop and then we don't fall asleep.
This inner critic comes from somewhere,
and the place that it comes from is from complex trauma.
And so magical miraculous things happen in our bodies,
and in our communities, and in our culture,
when we apply
a compassionate trauma-informed lens to what is going on in our body.
And so I'm just I'm so thrilled to be able to have these discussions with you all.
Let me go ahead and bring Gaston's email up. Just one more time.
Now, I would read through Pete Walker's material here during our video
but I really want this to be like the best use of your time.
And I have read through so much of Pete Walker's work on a lot of my videos on this channel.
Over the last five or six years that I don't want it to be a repeat,
sort of an ad nauseum situation where you're like,
"Oh, she already read through that on another video, like this is just a repeat."
Like I want it to be helpful so, I hope that you'll understand,
why I did not read through
the content on Pete Walker's website during our video tonight.
So how are you all doing I just want to check in with you and I really just want you to know
that
you know, I am here
to offer compassionate support
and kind words
to any of you who are going through
you know, so much, right?
Oh, and you know what I realized tonight, you guys. Oh my goodness. I'm so sorry.
I realized I didn't change the name of the video.
The title of the video
(exclamation)
I didn't change the title of the video. I need to change that.
Whoops
Let me see if I'm able to do that.
It might not allow me to do that while I'm talking.
I don't think it's gonna allow me to do it.
So I'm gonna have to change the name of the video because
it says why am I triggered by…
I believe it says, "why am I triggered by children and happy families and to have loving parents?"
Hopefully the thumbnail
was a self-explanatory sort of situation.
But a very special thank you to Gaston.
And what I'd like to do is I'd like to point out that
next week, this is a preview of next week.
Gaston says, "my second concern is related to something much more profound.
I was wondering if there is an experience accessing or reconstructing repressed memories
of an early childhood sexual abuse situation."
And so
Yes, Gaston, we will talk about this next week,
I want to
break it up into a couple of different videos because I feel like that would be
most helpful for everyone.

But thank you. Thank you all so much for
the Thumbs Up
Thank you for your kind words. Thank you for being here.
And I look forward to seeing you all next week,
and we're going to talk about healing childhood sexual abuse
and particularly repressed memories and why it is that we as adults feel a need to
have a linear experience and be able to put things in order.
We feel like that will bring us peace. And that is something that is so common in our community.
So I'm going to let you all go tonight, but I am so grateful you were here.
I will change the name of the video, so that you all know
that this is actually the video that we're talking about.
It's about what it is that we discuss which is
you know, OCD and being hyperaware of
of our bodily functions.
And the direct link between complex trauma and what is being misdiagnosed,
I believe to be misdiagnosed is OCD.
These sensory motory obsessions that we have, hypervigilance,
severely debilitating hypochondriasis, which is a distraction.
It's our our brain trying to help us distract, distract, distract at any cost. Distract, distract, distract.
Because this isn't a you know, a sustainable way for us to survive, right?
So I hope this is helpful for you all.
I really hope this was helpful.
I don't know if I did this topic any justice,
but I really
you know,
I really just hope that talking about these
topics openly are
our way for you to experience less stigma, these are things that are so so so so common.
I can't tell you how many times,
I have had someone send me an email about a similar topic and I just, I have not
accurately or effectively covered the topic on a Monday night.
So thank you for the opportunity Gaston. I really appreciate it so much.
Oh Gaston is here. He says thank you very much at the end.
I'm feeling so thrilled. Oh and embarrassed.
Oh, no. I hope I didn't embarrass you.
Gaston, I thought it was okay to use your name.
He says, "all I can say is thank you all."
You're so welcome. I did not mean to embarrass you at all.
I really hope that you feel fully supported.
And it is a difficult discussion to have.
Oh Geoffrey Sherman, you're so sweet. Geoffrey Sherman says, you did a wonderful job. Thank you so much.
Chupop says,
"Thank you.
Very informative. Looking forward to next Monday." Oh, I'm so glad.
Poppy says, "thank you for your courage to share Gaston."
I want to say a very special thank you to Shannon and Poppy and Keira, John Harvey
Ninja taco, all the blue wrench crew. I couldn't do any of this without you guys.
You guys are just the wind beneath my wings. I'm so so so so grateful.
There is a
link to Pete Walker's website Pete.Walker.com
I really really can't stress enough how a trauma-informed lens,
a compassionate lens,
when we are looking at these types of things
whether it is bodily
functions or facial expressions or the
texture of our skin or the shape of our eyes or the noises that our mouth makes or the shape of our hands or
whatever it is, I mean definitely look into

Body dysmorphic disorder as well because these things do happen a lot in the life of a survivor.
So thank you.
Oh, Gaston you're so welcome. Thanks ninja taco. Thanks John Harvey, thanks Kira, thanks Shannon, thanks Poppy.
You all are so wonderful. Hi, Nicole! Nicole says, "I love this book. Best investment I ever made."
I'm so glad oh you mean, uh Pete Walker,
Complex PTSD; From Surviving to Thriving
or The Tao of Fully Feeling.
Gosh I love both books
but the Tao of Fully Feeling really gave me permission to feel my my body and feel my feelings.
Hey Helen.
Great to see you. Hi, Sharon.
Oh, Y'all are so amazing. Well, good night everyone. I look forward to next week.
We will be talking about childhood sexual abuse and why we struggle with our memories.
And I just love you all so much. Thank you for being in my life and for letting me be in your life.
Please be gentle with yourselves because you're worth it and I'll see you soon.
Good night, everyone.

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