When the pain is coming from the surface of your skin around your anus… For more info on coaching visit For adult how-to videos …
Does the skin on your butt hurt during
anal sex?
hi I'm sex coach Nikki and this is very common second to muscles hurting
okay so the skin can hurt and this could
be for a number of reasons and this is
actually where you might want to go get
checked out by your general practitioner
or if you're not sure about their
diagnosis and you might want to go see
like a colorectal specialist because
there may be some discomfort during anal
penetration but if there's pain like
you're like like your whole body tenses
up you do not want to push through that
that is warning that's a danger sign
like you need to stop that means you're
moving too fast you're not using enough
Lube your muscles are still tight but
let's say you're using all the lube
you've done the anal massage you like
penetration but it's hurting on your
skin so this could be due to a number of
factors so I would say the most common
one that everyone knows about is
hemorrhoids right so doing all of the
muscle massage and self massage can help
to reduce the inflammation on
hemorrhoids you can also for all of
these remedies I recommend using castor
oil castor oil is like very magical it
really heals a lot in our skin and
you could look up the nutritional
and health benefits not nutritional to
the health benefits of castor oil for
all kinds of skin issues especially in
the general anal area so you want to
incorporate castor oil in a lot of these
activities when you're treating pain
okay so with hemorrhoids
also you can use castor oil and there's
other like natural holistic remedies but
the thing is when hemorrhoid is flared
up that's when you probably don't want
to have anal sex you just want to let
that heal and then you can move forward
having a more relaxed anus is going to
help you to avoid developing hemorrhoids
and also help make the ones that are
there to heal so that's that's number
one
but the next thing that is fairly common
but not as much talked about is a called
a fissure so fissure is like have you
ever had like your your lips get chapped
and then you talk or you open your mouth
and it like cracks that's a fissure and
that can happen around the opening
to your asshole so if that happens it's
hard to heal from because that part of
your body is always in motion just like
when it happens to your lips it's very hard
to heal so what you want to do is again
this is a pain that you don't
necessarily want to work through because
you don't want to make it worse
and you don't want to develop scar
tissue so using castor oil especially
warm castor oil packs beneficial and
also start working on your diet so you
don't want to do the truth a hemorrhoid
too but really the fissure is you want
to make sure you're getting enough
enough roughage so that the bowel when it passes is not painful as much as
possible getting I mean you can use
stuff like Metamucil and stuff like that
like there's yeah it looks like what is
good for your body and your diet and all
of that as far as like what you want to
have for your roughage but as long as
you're getting it in there so if you're
not eating enough vegetables and
drinking enough water then that's
going to keep the fissure going so you
want to fix your diet and it has to be
an ongoing fix that will allow your
fissure time to heal and then castor oil
treatment so so that's one and then now
the other one that's never talked about
and I think I think the reason these
things are not talked about is because
of
the shame around the anal area and
really it's like these issues are super
common but no one talks about them so
the last one is called a fistula and
this a fistula is any time you have a
connection between one surface and
another within your body or from the
inside to the outside so it can happen
anywhere along your digestive tract and
it happens a lot right by the anus and
so what can happen is there's actually
long story short a gland can get
infected and then or not yeah infected
because it can't what happened
if it can't drain because it's closed or
clogged so lots of glands in the anal
canal and so if the gland is closed or
clogged and it can't drain it'll get
infected so then it will make its own
way to drain and drain somewhere out
somewhere on the butt cheek or maybe on
the belly like this it will find a way
to drain these glands they will find a
way to drain and then it will have like
a little tunnel going from the inside to
the outside and this is going on for a
lot of people and it can be super
painful especially if they have any
other issue like irritable bowel
syndrome or Crohn's disease like there's
a lot of inflammation issues going on
this again
this is something not to tough it out in
anal sex you want to take your time to
get this handled and not irritate it not
make it worse and you want to make sure
to keep it clean and also you know
castor oil treatments but with anal
fissure the best thing is actually going
on the heating pad so you can do this
for all of these is putting on your
treatment which may be castor oil it may
be lavender whatever on a paper towel
and then the washcloth and then on
of a heating pad and you sit on that for
like 20 minutes for three times a day
and make sure that keeps it from being
infected but with a fistula
you can't usually heal that without
surgery so that's you know you have to
be taking care of yourself to get the
most pleasure out of your body all right
so those are the bad things about the
butt but then there's one other thing
that a lot of talk about is actually
probably more common than those three
altogether which is scar tissue so your
skin has different layers to it so
there's like the surface then there's
the the hump like in between the skin
and the muscle and forgetting the word
at the moment but they move smoothly
okay so if you pull on one it doesn't
pull like your whole skin it just pulls
the top layer but what happens is if
there's scar tissue is that when there's
a cut and all the layers get together
and then you pull the top layer and it
tugs on the bottom layers and that's
where you're feeling the pain so again
this is where you want to use the castor
oil castor oil packs the castor oil gets
um it sinks in and gets absorbed in the
skin and helps to untangle those scars
so that the layers of skin can again
move smoothly so this is helpful not
only for anal like you can use this
anywhere on your body you can use it
vaginally and when you put it in anally
it's not going to cause the diarrhea
like it will if you
swallow it so I just I really recommend
that if you are having pain like there's
difference between a discomfort and pain
and you want to address the symptom of
the pain so let's say you don't know
like I just named four things that it
could be for your pain let's say you
don't know what it is this is when
you have to really slow down and start
exploring so that's what I do with my
clients or when I teach my couples to do
with each other is to go really slow
like molasses slow you want to really
map out and like touch each spot in the
area and say okay does this not hurt no
like always to map out imagine the face
of the clock and so the receiver should
be in a comfortable position and then if
they're facedown I always put 12 o'clock
facing up so if the receivers face down
then 12 o'clock is straight toward the
tailbone and you just go through each
spot on the clock
touching and getting feedback and you
touch at different pressures and
different intensities and you'll find
out what is actually hurting what is
actually feeling good and that way you
can actually make an informed doctor's
visit because you can say where does it
hurt okay
anyway let me know (laughing) if you are
struggling with any of these issues and
if you've successfully overcome them or
if you have questions about overcoming
them I would love to share my input with
you all right make it a sexy day

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